December 12th 2007 - The Tricks of the Mind
I've always been fascinated with human nature, social behavior, and how the world works in general. I have always studied people very closely. I have been fortunate to have a pretty good memory; almost photographic. my verbal memory isn't so good, however. thanks to my mother (i think cause it def isn't my dad) i have an artistic side, and thanks to my father i have a very analytical side. in high school i started to test physical strength and it's connection to the brain. anyway, these, along with dozens of other things have all been a small baseline for my recent studies.
it wasnt until i broke up with my long-term ex that i really started analyzing the mind, mostly cause i went crazy, ha. but more so because she was crazy. and society is to blame. actually, nobody is to blame. it's just how the world works. i made a mistake by doing what i hoped rather than doing what i knew. i knew the kind of person she was and the kind of ppl her friends and other ppl were too. i was just too naive. i didn't fully realize what i was like, myself. anyway, i digress...
after studying philosophy, psychology, religion, evolution, biology, and so forth in my spare time, my studies led me into several interesting directions. much of my learnings were things i had already discovered on my own, but seeing that other ppl have verified it reassures me and makes me comfortable knowing i was right. in the process i found my idol, an amazing man who has unlocked more secrets of the mind than almost anyone in history. almost all his work has been previously studied, but he has found the links and put it all together into a seemingly perfect collection of the tricks of the mind. i will follow his ways as much as possible, but i will remain objective enough to look at all sides and angles, as i always have throughout my life.
now knowing much of what i already have analyzed in my life holds true, i will start to put random new thoughts and personal observations on this blog. i won't post anything official, obviously, since i am not a scientist, nor noted scholar. however, since a blog is a web log for personal thoughts, it'll be a good place for me to vent my thinking. anyway, i never cease to be amazed at how the mind works. i have to get back to my physical training as well, so i can have a healthy body and mind for the 1st time in a long time, but for now i'm a bit more fascinated with the latter.
I'm merely just beginning a never-ending
journey with these studies, but just past the starting line, this can be said
with much emphasis:
The human mind is very interesting, very scary, very strong, and very weak
November 25th 2007 - I need a life
Well I'll try to simplify the events from this past week
(Note: "=>" stands for therefore )
I was sick all week => I had to cancel my private lessons => I could not make money => I had to save money by staying home => I spent too much time in my room => I lost my mind...
I killed time writing more in my "Guide to Driving in Japan" . I wrote too much => I decided to make it into an entire theme-based website . I got halfway finished and couldn't get my ideas together => I snapped => I finally left my room and spent money I had stashed for savings => I gained my sanity back => I realized the website was kinda too big an idea for something that isn't so big.
Eventually I'll simplify the whole project again and post it here. For now I need to get a life, teach some lessons, go outside, interact with humans and try to have some fun. In the meantime you can enjoy a flash video I made yesterday. It's just a small part of the guide, but it relates to Gerbs' recent post. For some reason the sound is off when I try playing it online sometimes. My apologies. My flash skills are basic...
Enjoy.
-Braja
October 31st 2007 - Racers' Paradise - The Return to O-Daiba
After obtaining some cash finally (I got about $120 for 4 hrs of private teaching), I decided to treat myself. Darius mailed me to inform me that he and Joseph were in O-Daiba. I wasn't gonna go originally since I didn't wanna blow my cash as soon as I had earned it. Still, since Joseph was on a semi-pro racing team back in America and is, naturally, a big car guy, I couldn't fight the urge. It's rare to be in such a place with someone else who can truly appreciate it.
When I arrived they had already tried the GT4 simulator (the one I've never gotten to try), and taken a test drive on the driving course. Joseph chose a 'Century', a $110,000 5.0litre bigass luxury sedan, ha. Thankfully he didn't damage it, although the course was much smaller than he had imagined: Hence why I chose the Vitz before.
Overhead shot of a portion of the Toyota test course
Since I didn't have time to go home to get my license after my lessons, I couldn't go for another test drive, myself. So, the star attraction became the simulators. The Gran Turismo 4 simulator, if you hadn't read before, is on hydrolics. It shifts and vibrates like a real car. When you step on the gas it jumps back, when you hit the brakes you dip forward. If you go over grass it rumbles, and when you turn, it sways sideways. The coolest realism comes when you start hitting high speeds. The car begins to shake violently and the steering wheel is stiff and wobbly, just like a real car, with tight suspension, going faster than aerodynamics let it. The speakers in the seat let you hear surround sound and the wind whipping against the windows. The default car was a JGTC Supra and the default track was the newly-renovated Fuji Speedway.
Gran Turismo 4 Racing Simulators
We played about 6 times each. It was an all-out battle. Most normal driver customers averaged lap times of 2'30~3'15. Some of the better drivers averaged 2'15~2'25. Darius made us proud with an average of about 2'20 (mostly cause it was erratic; some great runs and a couple where he couldn't stop crashing), and had a very good best time of 1'58. Joseph and I were a bit more concise, but we've had far more racing experience, especially Joe. I averaged 1'42 and Joseph 1'40. My best time was 1'41"310 and Joseph's best was 1'39"840. I was a bit sad I was a full 1.5 seconds slower, especially cause I knew I could do way better. However, Joseph probably had more in him too. Still, since he was an actual race driver, I was willing to throw in the towel.
Warning: Subjective
Rant
(skip if you bore or annoy easily)
Rant- Although street racing is stupid, and many amateurs are more dangerous than an average driver, I believe the GT4 sim is a prime example of how racing leads to better drivers. When people know their cars and how cars handle in different situations, they can control them better at higher speeds. Sure, it is nice to think all high-speed driving should be safe. However, if there is an emergency, the average person will have a higher death rate than someone who's used to quick high-speed reactions. On the simulator, all the average drivers spun out, hit almost every wall, missed turns, and freaked out at the car's random jolts. Joseph and I hit no walls, and although we understeered or slid off course occasionally, we could quickly compensate and correct the situation. Although it may sound preposterous, I recommend people take their car to a track, rent it, and try some high speed driving in safe, controlled conditions. This is why, at the start of every winter, I take my car to a huge empty parking lot and test it in the snow. That way, if I ever have an emergency on the road, I'll be a bit more ready. Sadly, you can hardly do much for snow problems. Still, knowing this I drive really slow, and I cringe as unknowing idiots go flying past the speed limit in their P.O.S. 20 yr old, bald-tired beaters, just cause they're late for work. Don't race in public, but please people learn some driving techniques when you can. I still have so much more to learn, myself. Too many people think of cars as just a means of getting from point A to point B, but too few realize it holds lives at hand.
Endless supply of racing games. I want this for my home.
They even have train and bus simulators.
Don't ask...
For more pictures of the arcade and whatnot check the Facebook Gallery. I cut pictures to save load time as usual.
Showdown in Little Hong Kong
Revenge is a b!tch
October 30th 2007 - "Do you want to sit outside and watch the robots?"
Ah, yes. It was another blissful day of no money, and the need to spend it... if that makes sense.
Dave, my ex-coworker and good friend is leaving the country on Thursday due to his negative cash flow and the sudden loss of a job, not to mention that he was evicted from his apartment. Dave, who was originally in the worst situation of all of us, owing student loans, and forced to take expired pills for his diabetes, on account of not having money nor insurance, suddenly was the richest of everyone. He found out he has extended family in Tokyo@.@. A man who is half Japanese and half Spanish, brother of a half Spaniard-half Thai girl gave dave $300, though they had never met before in their lives. Small world, huh...
Since Dave was now set until his departure, he was the king for a day, treating all of us to coffee at a maid cafe, and several drinks at the local Hub. We started the day in Akihabara. Dave and I went to a normal coffee shop to wait for the others. On our way in, we saw 2 robots (well, men dressed as robots) fighting in the public square. I think they were filming something, but still it was fun to see the kind of city Tokyo is, and how the only people to give such a sight a 2nd glance is us foreigners. As we got our drinks, Dave asked "Do you want to sit outside and watch the robots?"... I thought it would be another century before people could ask a question like that so nonchalantly.
Just another Tokyo robot street fight
Upon the arrival of the others (Kim, Jim, and Darius) we set off to accomplish our original mission: Buying a Kofte Sandwich! There's a Turkish restaurant in Akihabara with killer food, some of the best in Tokyo. It's not a popular place; just one of those treasures you come across in back alleys. Their Kofte (Turkish meatball) Sandwiches are to die for. They actually use some great fresh baked bread too, a small rarity in Japan.
Kofte (Turkish meatball) Sandwich
Since we were in Akihabara we had to hit a maid cafe. It wasn't so good today, though. Oh, well Dave was buying. After the maid cafe, Kim went home and Darius' roommate, Joseph joined us for drinks at the Hub. "The Hub" is a Japanese version of an English pub. It's not authentic, but sure not Japanese. The Hub is fantastic for happy hour. Cheap drinks, good food, no sitting charge, and pay up front so you don't need to ask for a check. It's a good hangout.
After the Hub, we decided to let the fun continue. It was our last outing with Dave, and he wanted to keep drinking. So, we chose the next best option: Station beers! "Station beers" is a term used for the practice of buying drinks from a convenience store and drinking them outside the station. This is/was popular for low salary Nova teachers. It is also a luxury cause open drinks are perfectly legal and accepted anywhere in Japan. We do station beers in a slightly more classy way. Rather than stand outside the station we walk around or sit somewhere quaint. Today, we chose Ikebukuro Nishi-Guchi (west exit) Park. It's not a park, actually. It's a big circle public square with a stage for music and a fountain. Anyway it was the perfect place for cheap drinking. Simon tagged along for this event.
Ikebukuro West-Exit Park
The night was great. A homeless man gave Jim a brand new pack of cigarettes. This is the situation Nova teachers are in: Homeless people are sympathetic and offering presents, ha. After that a group of drunk university students asked us to take a pic of them. To have some fun (and get a pic with the girl everyone was ogling) I asked them to take a picture as I jumped into their group. They were more than thrilled. Following suit, Jim, Dave, Darius, Joe, and Simon all jumped in as well. We chatted with the group for awhile and then bid them farewell. We went home soon after.
Poor Jim, wallowing in his jobless despair
The joy of random encounters
Dave will be greatly missed. Thanks to him for a couple initial drinks, and another great cheap day out. For most of us it was the 1st time out of our apartments in a week or more.
October 28th 2007 - Return to Disneyland
"Your company has just gone out of business. What are you going to do now?"
"I'm going to Disneyland!"
Me and Mari in front of the revamped Haunted Mansion
Okay, so I'm posting this a bit late. Last Friday, when Nick called me at 9:00am to tell me that all Nova schools were closed, I informed him that I was going to Disneyland, ha. It was somewhat amusing and ironic. After a one-year hiatus, I finally went back to Tokyo Disney. This time I went with my student, Mari. However, it was not that special of a day. Still, the park was ridiculously crowded that day. The park was decorated for Halloween, though Japanese people don't really celebrate Halloween at all, other than a few decorations around the country. There were more people than I've ever seen, and I've been to Tokyo Disney about 5-6 times. It was strange, since it's October, a weekday, and was raining like crazy.
Ridiculous crowd before the afternoon monsoon
Things were nice. Mari just wanted to see me one more time. I just wanted to checkout some new things, especially "Pirates of the Caribbean", as I heard that it was updated for the sake of the hit movies. I also found out the "Haunted Mansion" ride was updated as well, using the Nightmare Before Christmas theme, instead of the sub-par Eddie Murphy movie from which the ride was named. The Pirates ride was interesting. It lost a bit of its classic nostalgic feel, but all-in-all I was quite pleased with it. They kept 98% of the original stuff, and now it ties in well with the movie story. The new theme has progressed from 'pillaging drunken pirates' to 'pillaging drunken pirates of whom are looking for Captain Jack Sparrow'. Though many people may not remember the original ride, I will still state the changes I noticed:
WARNING
*contains spoilers*
-
As you're passing through the caves, prior to the giant pirate ship attack on the harbor, you see a cleverly designed warning from Davy Jones. They used streaming mist as a screen and had a projector display his face. The mist not only adds an eerie feel, but it allows the rider to pass through it.
-
The bizarre, unknown, unnamed, seemingly short captain on the ship attacking the harbor is now replaced by Captain Barbossa, shouting for the location of Captain Jack Sparrow. The ship is now the Black Pearl.
-
The Pirate who is drowning the mayor of the town in the well is no longer questioning about the location of the town loot. He is now interrogating him for the whereabouts of Captain Jack Sparrow, who, consequentially is hiding behind some crates near the aforementioned pirates.
-
Later more men are talking about finding Jack Sparrow. Again we see Jack hiding, this time in a barrel, constantly popping his head out.
-
The ending of the ride has Jack sitting alone in a chair around a pile of loot, singing the classic Pirates of the Caribbean theme song... "...drink up me hearties yo-ho!"
A very poor shot of Jack at the ride finale (No flash, for the sake of other
passengers)
The only other different ride was the Haunted Mansion ride. It was actually pretty horrible. Virtually everything was changed. Although I love Nightmare Before Christmas, the ride was way better before, when it was simply the haunted mansion. They got rid of all the [mildly] scary stuff and even slowed it down massively. It's obvious this is now meant to be a children/family oriented ride. Still, it was nice to see the classic characters and somewhat amusing technology. It was definitely not worth the 90-100 minute wait time!!
The rest of the day was like any other Disney day, I suppose. Tokyo Disney is close and relatively cheap. I can go often and easily, though I don't. Last time was in august 2006. I'll never forget that time, no matter how many times I go. Still, I love going and it's always fun. Anyway I have more pics, but to save this page load-time, I'll spare you all.
October 27th 2007 - I am bullet-proof
I met up with my friend, Nana, today for coffee. She has always said i'm too kind and not normal and yadayada. today, though, as i spoke about going back home, i mentioned how i'd like to stay in japan, but i'm going home for family and people back there who need me. again, she said i was too caring, but also claimed "you should care about yourself". this was not the first time i've heard this. i remember "she" once always told me that. "she" always used to hate how much i took care of her. more than any other man will. i would always put aside my own troubles to help her no matter what, no matter when, and no matter how difficult it was. "she" thought it was weakness, or rather pathetic. "she" hated how i took care of her too much.
The problem always was that nobody understood. "she" never understood. everyone thinks i'm jumping in front of a bullet. everyone thinks i'm sacrificing myself and my own happiness, and that i should take care of myself. but what they never realized is...
I do not jump in front of bullets to sacrifice myself. I jump in front of bullets because I am bullet-proof.
i can take care of myself. i've ALWAYS taken care of myself. i've been independent all my life. any false idea that i am dependent is simply a misjudgement. any benefits i receive from anyone are just because i know those are available. i use all my resources to the fullest. if i lose a resource, i strategically use my others. if all run out, i improvise. but the point is, i always survive, and am always totally confident. i simply wanted to help others, because helping others IS what makes me happy. nobody ever understood that, because everyone is greedy and weak. they can't understand, because they grew up with the premonition that to survive and be happy you must take care of yourself and do what it takes to make yourself happy. they were hurt and not mature enough to evolve. we're all victim of this. i certainly am.
the world is a sad place. survival of the fittest will always rule-out. even though, statistically it should not be the way. like dawkin's theory of grudgers and nice guys. like the prisoner's dilemma and other experiments. someday people will see... perhaps. if not its ok. i will always be confident knowing i can handle anything life throws at me... and then some. i will continue to help others. however, some people i will let bullets hit, so that they can callus themselves as i have. and i, myself, will do my best to grow stronger, and be a better man. i have a long way to go...
October 22nd 2007 - 2 Day Farewell Party Extravaganza!
Although my leave date is tentative on account of a delayed paycheck, I had a huge farewell bash, regardless. I had a farewell party for Nova already, but this one was a party for people from all walks of my life here. To accommodate more people's schedules, I made it a 2 day event. At 1st i had the dilemma of which day to hold it, but then realized"wait I'm free everyday".
The festivities started at 6:30pm on Saturday. We had a BBQ in the park next to my house. About 30 people came. It was also our most organized BBQ ever, with loads of food, better arrangements and more people. Even my friends from the local cafe joined us, bringing wine and more food. Sadly my izakaya staff friends were busy working, as late night is their peak hrs. The whole thing was great and everyone had a ton of food and met loads of new people.
At 11:15pm we started packing up the grill and cleaning the area. Jim, I, and a couple people transported materials to the apartment while others gathered at the station. In the end about 15 people remained for the next event: All night karaoke!
We went 2 stations down to Akabane, the closest thing to civilization and action. Karaoke was another surprising success. Not only did many people tough out the long night (12:15-5:15am) but we did some awesome bargaining. Each person only had to pay 2000 yen (roughly US$18.50 perhaps) for karaoke, unlimited cocktails and soft drinks, unlimited ice cream, and 4 beers (hard to explain ha. All part of the bargaining process), for 5 hours. As the case usually goes with all-night karaoke, the 1st 3 hrs or so were fantastic and the last 2 kinda died down as alcohol and fatigue set in. Still we danced and sang most of the night away. It was one of the craziest karaoke nights ever, mostly since we had more people and more space (for being nuts ha. And we only broke 2 glasses and a bowl). I made it home (luckily only 2 stations away) and slept a whopping 4 hrs until i had to wakeup and continue the festivities...
Although I ended the weekend close to death from exhaustion (what idiot would plan 5 events in less than 32 hours-_-? freakin' moron), I must say that all-in-all the whole thing was a huge success, and I will never forget it.
Many people were unable to come to the event, on account of expenses, timing, etc. Teachers had no money. High School students had college entrance exams. College students had job hunting. Other people just had other plans. I only gave 2 weeks notice. In Japan, a month notice is the safe minimum. Anyway next time I come to Japan and have a big event, I'll make sure to give more of a head's-up. I will also plan less events in a wider range of time, ha.
Still, I would like to thank anyone who came. Special thanks go out to those who paid extra to help others, people who brought food to the barbecue, and a very special thanks to my student, Yoshinobu. He was the only person to tough it out with me and make it to every event. He was a trooper. Plus, he helped to make reservations and bargain for me. I can't thank him enough. He is also a flippin' amazing singer@.@! karaoke king, ha.
Me and Yoshinobu dead tired at the end of a crazy weekend.
I recommend to anyone in Japan to hold a special party. Hosts get perks. The guests paid for me at several of the events, saving me a nice chunk of change. Thank you everyone. Thank you Japan. and thank YOU for reading this long-ass post.
Braja out~
As usual, for many more pics, checkout the Gallery.
October 15th 2007 - Home
I've been in a loop of emotions these days. Mostly they are all good. I've never been more relaxed and confident. I'm learning more and more everyday and expanding so much. However...
i have to go home soon. i made this decision awhile ago and i'm gonna stick to it. it's just time. however, i hate the feeling of going home in a way. i'm not that Brian anymore, and, to be honest, it's kinda like visiting my own grave. I lost my whole life back in america. some piece of shit man-whore worthless loser got lucky and stole everything i had when i wasn't paying attention. anyway.. heh. my point is, that, although i am a different person, whenever i call home or whatever i revert back to the old Brian. Nobody knows who I am now and nobody knows just how vast the world is outside of home. they haven't seen the things i've seen nor learned what i've learned. or rather, just not as in-depth as i have. and i'm still learning and growing and don't want to stop just yet. i'm not ready to settle down and vegetate. i have to just keep reminding myself to stay who i am and take that back with me. sorry it's hard to explain. oh well at least i know whats going on.
anyway, although i wanna stay in asia where my life is, i have to go home. my family needs me and i need to put pieces together again. i can't run from that life. i refuse to be that kind of person. i don't wanna be like those weak pieces of shit who run from all their troubles and try to erase the past. and i won't let her take everything from me.
October 11th 2007 - A dream hal-fulfilled (extended version)
This is a post about my trip to Gunma: The area with all the most famous Initial D mountains. Anyone who is a fan of Initial D, drifting, or racing/driving in general should appreciate this. This is an extended version of the one found on japanesepenguin. So for the abreviated version, go there...
I'll begin the story where my adventure began...
12:00am - Sunday (or Saturday night, however you wanna look at it) - My friend, Arisa, picks me up in her car (a P.O.S. Toyota Prius, hahaa. No offense to all you tree-huggers out there) and head off to Akagi mountain. She let me drive the 1st leg of the highway journey after just one lap around a parking lot@.@. Rather than tell me how to drive in Japan, she was spending more time trying to explain how to drive a car-_-. I tried to explain I have far more experience then her, I simply need to know Japanese rules, plus programming the brain to reverse everything it's ever learned into a mirror image takes a toll on it (they drive on the left in Japan). The language barrier was also a nuiscance. Anyway she was explaining how to pass cars and which lane is the fast lane and yadayada we all know back home-_- ha. I was going crazy cause of the pillar blinding my right side, and getting super messed in the head when trying to change lanes or use my mirrors. She took this as a lack of driving skill in general-_-. However, as always, some things are just too pointless to bicker over. Later Arisa took control again for the rest of the night.
2:00am - we arrived in Akagi and began our climb to the top. I was getting excited. Upon entering the 1st set of hairpin turns, we noticed the great lengths authorities took to stop racing/drifting there. In the corners, the center line had large cement chunks and, between the corners, the road was paved in a wave fashion to cause the car to bounce, forcing you to slow down. After exiting the final hairpin and continuing our ascent, we noticed the next few corners had no precautions and were quite drift-able. Then, came the most memorable 2 seconds of my life. As we began approaching a blind hairpin, I noticed a bright blue/white glow reflecting off the trees and heard an increasingly noisy rumble. I thought "this is gonna get freaky", knowing the call signs only a racer knows distinctly. JUST as we entered the corner, 4 racers came barralling around at top speed. The 1st 2 cars correct themselves upon seeing us. The 3rd, more confident, allowed himself to continue drifting ("sliding" to the lame-man) just inches from the driver side door. This was extra freaky to me, as I was not in control of our car. My life was in Arisa's hands. Anyway the 4th car also had corrected himself with no trouble dodging us and we finished the turn with no damage done. The next few corners were permeated with the stench of burnt rubber and clouds of tire smoke filled the air. It was everything you miss-out on in videos and magazines, and I couldn't help but grin with a frightening glee. As we traveled further we saw about 5-7 more racers, but they had all slowed their pace by that point. Surely the 1st 4 had radio'ed up to the rest and gave them the heads up. We also passed a corner where a gallery of bikers were waiting their turn to race each other. When we got to the top I was in agony for hopes to watch the racing. Arisa told me, though, "There's nowhere to park and we'd just be in the way." I was then forced to try to sleep at the top of the mountain, in the car, hearing all those lovely sounds and the fun I was missing (T.T). Needless to say, I didn't really sleep.
Atop of Akagi mountain at daybreak.
A lone EVO rests near us after a long night of racing.
7:00am - After already staying awake all night while Arisa slept, I decided to take pics of the sun rising on the mountain. It was cool seeing the fog in the valleys and basins and the peaks silhouetting the sunrise. I also saw some racers finishing up for the night and stopping for rests and whatnot. Anyway I woke Arisa up, and, although I was hoping to try to nap an hr or 2 again, she said we should move along and we continued on our way.
Arisa let me drive again, this time on the mountain pass. Sadly, however, it was not the downhill of the way we came the previous night. It was still nice, but I quickly learned how crap the Prius truly is-_- (*see technical evaluation below).
Anyway, we later went to a really cool waterfall area. It was AMAZING and, even though i was sooooo tired, I loved looking at it and walking around. I couldn't believe how close we were allowed to walk. In America, at least 40 stupid kids and a couple careless adults would probably die everyday, ha. It reminded me of Indiana Jones, and I suddenly feared I was needed to protect an ancient artifact to help a small tribe. For more pics, checkout another Facebook Gallery.
I thought the rocks mysteriously looked like a face.
The Temple of Doom is somewhere around here.
9:30am - Once we finished at the waterfall, we headed to Haruna (榛名). Haruna is the most important mountain, since it is the main mountain in "Initial D", home of the main character, Takumi. In the show/comic, it is called "Akina" (秋名）. Due to playing Initial D video games, as well as a handful of other games with Haruna about 5000 times, I know it's the same mountain. Akagi, and all other mountains retained their original names.
Haruna was a dream to be on. Although I was dead tired, I had coffee, 6000mg of taurine, and tea with caffeine to keep me awake, not to mention the sun's energy. It was a perfect day, with beautiful weather. However, since it was also a holiday, the mountain was PACKED with people and cars. At the top of the mountain was the beautiful Haruna Lake, where you can ride paddle boats shaped like swans (like in Initial D), and enjoy random other aquatic entertainment. There was also a nice hot spring, where Arisa and I had gone to cleanup and refresh ourselves. The hot spring was pretty small, but nice as it overlooked the lake. It's kinda funny being totally naked and looking out at a lake surrounded by people. Thankfully, though, there was enough to block people from viewing. It was weird, nonetheless.
1:00pm - After leaving the hot spring, we descended Haruna mountain, driving the almighty Haruna/Akina downhill. However, this broke my heart, since I was not the one driving (T.T). We hopped on the highway and headed back to Tokyo. I slept the whole way back, and my adventure was over. Later that night I went to Simon's farewell party which was identical to mine, and, therefore, a blast!
I'm very happy I can say I went to Gunma, and, it was a wonderful experience. Also, although I did not drive on the best part of Akagi, I technically drove on an Akagi pass. Still, I can only consider my dream half-fulfilled. I thank Arisa, but still I am not totally satisfied. To this date, Irohazaka remains the only mountain I've tackled. I will return to all 3 someday, in a worthy car, by my own hands, and hopefully in the company of more people who'd appreciate it (Gerbs and Nick, for example). Still I would strongly recommend Gunma for any travelers, especially those looking for a drive. It's nonstop roads, but be wary that they are insanely narrow and winding. Still, there is much to see and many hot springs. Also, Haruna Lake is surrounded with loads of activities for couples and families alike.
*Below are some little data/tidbits I came up with about the trip*
Prius technical evaluation (warning- may bore some readers) - Aside the fact that it's slow, everything about the handling is shit, to be polite, ha. I don't even care about the power, or lack of it, rather. On a mountain pass, suspension is the key to life or death, and even speed. The tires were soft and tiny, easily wearing and sliding and getting too hot. The rear brakes were drum brakes, and all the lines rubber so the pedal was spungy. There is no hand brake either. The emergency brake is the foot pressed kind. Hand brakes aren't just for fun, when in a sudden emergency situation, pulling it can be very crucial at times, if you know what you're doing. Worst of all was the body roll. The springs were really soft and the prius is somewhat top-heavy, on account of the small wheels that are small to make room for the 2 stupid tiny engines and all the hybrid nonsense. I managed almost twice the speed Arisa could but with great struggle and slightly more safety/control. My sl2turbo back home, however coulda gone 3 times as fast and with much better control, thus more safely. The final nuiscance is that Arisa had the back filled with all sortsa crap rolling around and whatnot. She is a fantastic driver in someways, but lacks much driving sense. The car should be light, with proper counter-weights (corners should be balanced).
Driver Data (warning-
biased/subjective) -
Arisa:
Pros - She has great knowledge
of driving in general, and her knowledge of the car's boundaries are flawless.
She has great reflexes and no fear of anything.
Cons - She has no fear of anything, knows little about weight transfer,
nothing about driving physics nor mechanics of the car.
Brian:
Pros
- Is a weight transfer and suspension specialist, knows the ins-outs of the
car and driving physics, has a lot of experience driving all kinds of cars,
knows the mountains by heart, can quickly determine a car's limits and abilities.
Cons - Is not at all used to driving on the left side of the road,
doesnt understand Japanese traffic laws, Has a bad sense of a car's boundaries
(especially on super narrow Japanese roads, and in right-hand drive cars),
and lacks courage at times.
Lessons learned:
- No dream can be fully accomplished if you rely on others (someone else taught me that)
- The Prius is a piece of crap.
- When in doubt, hug the center line. Close is fine. If I dunno the car's width, I can at least see my side.
- Don't buy a Prius
- Mountain passes are dangerous at night
- Sleep a lot, but not too much before a road trip
- I need to study Japanese
- I miss my car
- My car is a Porche compared to a Prius
- American cars would fall off a Japanese mountain
- etc etc... and Prius' suck
September 30th 2007 - Final Days are dragging
Since more people view japanesepenguin.com, I've been udating that way more than here. I try to make them different when I can so things aren't repeated. but it's hard and time consuming. really theres soooo much i wanna say everyday but no time or energy. anyway my story today was about gals and absinthe ha.
to expand upon the stories on japanesepenguin, i'll start with the gals. we went to a restaurant and met some gals. i used a plan that actually worked! 1st time in my life maybe haha. wont explain the plan but anyway we got to talk to them and had lots of fun. drank for a couple hrs and took pics and vids of random weird gal stuff ha. i was really happy but know japanese culture so doubt we'll see them again. still it was a good night.
the absinthe story can be continued but saying nobody was drinking it so i drank it, and rather fast too. thankfully i was keeping myself in check so knew a bit more would be fine. tasted exactly like black licorice(sp?). it was nasty. they bought me more cause they were impressed i drank it so fast but thats not to be cool i'm just impatient haha. i wanted to get it finished fast and out of the way. stupid darius bought more ha. oh well it worked out ok. no problems at all and now i have a mildly interesting story. i can at least say i've done it.
other than that, i've been getting back in shape. since the arm dislocation i couldnt workout but recently built up the strength to do some things again. i'm sure i'll need surgery for my shoulder but for now i can at least get fit again. feels nice. now to get back to improving the rest of my life too...
September 24th 2007 - Final Days
Well I finished with Nova!! finally. after 1.5 yrs. well, 1st i should update my last couple weeks. i dislocated my shoulder in shizuoka. MASSIVELY fucked it up. but fixed it myself and its 90% ok. still need to go to a hospital when i can cause i'm pretty sure a tendon is severed or messed up, but whatever. can still do most daily functions with no problems(^^;).
the week after shizuoka i went to kyoto with yuko. that sucked. well kyoto was nice but all in all it sucked. wont go into details. saw sayaka the next day though in ueno (tokyo) and went to the zoo again(^^) that was great!
then this week i had my final day with nova. it was sad, and happy all at once. you can see japanesepenguin.com for more details. and you can see pics in the gallery. now i'm just analyzing job offers, makin money here and there and planning my next big move which will take place in a week or 2. life is so much easier without someone you have to take care of 24/7 ha (girlfriend). still miss havin one. ah well. later.
September 11th 2007 - Road Trip
Waited way too long once again to update. been INSANELY busy. resigned from nova, been applying for jobs all over the world, makin resumes in all diff languages and trying to sort shit out. taking advantage of resourses and milkin people i managed to get offered a free car and a free house haha. refused the car (see my post on japanesepenguin.com) but probably gonna take the house IF i stay in japan, provided the offer still stands.
other than that i've been using any small freetime to expand my brain power ha. learning about people as always is 1st, but recently i've been learning massive amounts of stuff ranging through history, philosophy, science, pop culture, religion, languages etc. my brain is freakin' suckin in information like there's no tomorrow, its just too hard to organize right now. sucks. when i do though itll be great. also came up with an interesting new future prospect, but for now my hopes are pretty low. regardless i'm inspired. Perhaps Indri and Jim helped the most so spark this creativity.
Lastly, i'm currently in a highway bus heading towards hamamatsu to visit nick in shizuoka^^! hopefully we're gonna have some fun and i'll give him some pointers about japanese living. ha. i'll update more here and on japanesepenguin. and surely nick will too.
July 31st 2007 - Symbolism~
I finally got a new watch. it was kinda a big move. my last one was scratched quite a bit, and old, and never had any real interesting functions or whatever. and though i'll still use it once in awhile and it still looks ok, i just figured i needed a new one. funny, in america i never wanted or needed a watch. hated them. when i got the last one as a gift i was kinda angry/offended even haha (well not really just confused someone would give me something they knew i didnt want). but it grew on me. and in japan i've had to wear one everyday. now i feel kinda weird without one. also, in japan all the car magazines i read have high class fashion sections for some reason and i'm always victim to watch ads. so i fell for advertising ha(XD). want a really expensive watch (Tag Heuer, Omega, Breitling, Hublot, Zenith, etc) but i'll never have enough money. so i decided to get a fairly decent priced one. a compromise of price and quality. it's a seiko. my dad has always worn seiko so i kinda didnt wanna get a seiko haha but i realized thats also some symbolism=P. this watch symbolizes a new me. a new life. older, more mature. mature enough to wear something proudly and not get childish just cause someone else has it. mature enough to have a new watch but not regret or giveup the old one. mature enough to keep with something even if i have 2nd thoughts (after i bought it i wondered if it was a good choice ha. so much money=P) but anyway i'm still learning the powers it has haha. its nice though. i'm happy i bought it. in the end i know its just a watch. it has no real strength or meaning. its just something useful like it was originally meant to be. so for now, i'm satisfied(^^)
i'm gonna get one more watch still too. this one is too nice for everyday ha. its a fancy watch for work and wearin my suit. i'll get an everyday watch soon too=).
July 26th 2007 - Crap one more thing-_-...
I just realized my comments arent working. damnit. the site i was using changed their system so now all my old comments are kinda screwed. great. well i'll have the comments up again soon. hope everyone uses them!
July 26th 2007 - Just a quick one...
ah i keep forgetting to update. too lazy. well i'll leave a big update tomorrow or something. just wanna leave a msg here. this week was really disappointing. made me think of my post on June 24th (see below). i had 2 friends cancel again on me this week. but one i was REALLY disappointed. and shocked. esp cause we made the plan over one month ago! over one month!! but still they found something more important to do-_-. and we made plans for aug2-4th but they cancelled those too. i really hate it here. i'll never understand why work is more important than people. oh well i guess i do understand its just hard for me cause people are so important to me. i do love japan. but in 1.5 yrs i've seen friends maybe 1-3 times each and been cancelled on about 15-20 times. japanese people say "しょうがない" which means "it can't be helped" or "there's nothing you can do". but they don't understand there IS something you can do. it's easy to change plans. but, i guess they just wanna work. a company who they just started working for, or a boss they dont even know as a friend, or a school project is more important than seeing a friend who will only be in their country a short time. well i'll shutup now. sorry just needed to vent. i'll cheer up again soon. better post tomorrow~
July 4th 2007 - Expensive dinner for Independence Day
ok so i didnt celebrate Independence Day-_-. everyone had a fun BBQ in the park but i promised arisa i'd have dinner with her in yokohama. it was soooooo cheap as usual BUT i lost $150 fucking dollars-_-. wanna die. so ended up the most expensive dinner ever really ha. anyway that sucked ass. on a better note gerbs and nick added me to their japanese website ha
check it out. but please come back to my page cause its cooler;) ha yeah right-_-...=P
June 29th 2007 - Exercise~
recently i've found the need to better myself again. brain and body are getting weak. been studying a little bit each night. mostly important things like japanese but even other things. just need to keep my brain in check. cause now that i'm not a student and stopped watching documentaries and news and whatnot i'm getting dumber i think ha. so started to study history, science, etc. on top of it i started exercising again. but damnit japanese summers are hot and humid-_-. just wanna be lazy all day. oh well no time for that. gotta improve body and mind. no time to slow down now^^b.
btw special thanks to indri, kimi, dave, and jim for small inspirations to get my dumb brain movin again. especially indri. love u! and gonna start using japanese in my blog/webpage more. even though my japanese sucks ha. need practice!! (thanks to haruna for that advice)
June 28th 2007 - ...
ok so nothing much new. just wanted to get back into a habit of updating. weird night last night but nothing special. gotta start studying japanese again. never have a chance-_- japanese people are too busy. foreigners are the only ones i can count on. but uhhh they cant help me speak japanese ha. so. here i am studying at home alone again. REALLY gotta study cantonese but of course thats way harder. ah well all with time. ok next update will be more interesting^^; ha
oh! and i got new funny english T-shirts! ha. from the same store as the other. i love these=P japan is great heh. such bad english. and the best part is that it would lose its specialness if it werent from japan=P. as usual click to enlarge...
ha love this one (^^)
June 24th 2007 - Cannon fodder...
i'm getting lazier and lazier again. i have to update. just... too much on my mind. i'm writing a whole paper and people and social problems these days i'll post it later.. for myself of course. but i've just been getting disgusted at how humans behave~
anyway i'll be more specific in the future, but basically right now i've been getting angry with how fucking SELFISH and simple-minded everyone is. japan is killing me especially. dont get me wrong its an AMAZING country. with great people! and wonderful culture. i love it here. and, in fact i've totally adapted to the lifestyle. but it doesnt mean i like it all. there are just some things about japanese life i really can't stand. i really cannot tolerate how people care so little about each other. i also hate how nobody understands me, or my mentality.
for example, you MUST schedule things AT LEAST one month in advance. MAYBE a week is ok. but japanese people will always put work or boyfriends/girlfriends before any other human. i realized people who say they care simply use me to learn english or whatever. nobody really wants to be my friend. even if they want to be, everything else in life is far more important. in america we can call somebody in the morning and hangout later that day. we dont forget appointments and we rarely cancel. but its totally the opposite in japan. if the meeting place is 30 min away and they can only hangout 2 hrs they skip it. and thats just one example. i've had 20 friends cancel at least 20 times. even friends i used to see everyday in america i've seen just 3-4 times in my whole 15 months in japan. most people dont even reply to emails!! perhaps its just me though. perhaps i'm thinking too much as usual. dunno. still, its unbelievable. worst part is that they totally forget we're (foreigners) only here a short time. not our whole lives. its almost sad how quickly peoples lives pass in japan. i love this country. i love my friends and the people i know. but some things.. i'll just never understand. even though i live the life, and follow the rules and know the etiquette, its just baffling.
the other thing that drives me mad is that personalities are so different. most of the time i'm quiet and reserved like most japanese people, but sometimes i'm very american, outgoing and noisy. plus very forward and direct. i suppose this scares many people off. i think it esp scares girls cause i have no gf. but even guys stop caring so quickly. they totally misunderstand and thus run away. i alienate everyone because they dont understand i simply wanna be friends and i come from a diff culture. i'm very open and direct. but mostly, i think they just forget cause theyre too busy to care about anyone but themselves=/.
japan, however, isnt the only thing pissing me off. its EVERYONE. the one thing that i can't stand is how simple-minded everyone is and how so few people see the big picture. so i'm forced to choose what parts of the picture to put into focus to what people. so many people judge me without even having met me. or some people judge off of one meeting. i understand if you do your hw and read my webpage, analyze conversations, or see me everyday, or stuff like that. but the problem is that even those people can be so naive and simple its scary. people who run all their lives and hide. people who dont try to solve problems. people who arent educated or just dont care and only wanna have fun. not only do these people not bother looking at the big picture, BUT they're caught up in their OWN world too much. they dont have time or energy to care for other people. like i said western and educated people, in my experience, are a bit better. but still have miles to go.
all the people i try to care about just stab me in the back. i've always known humans are greedy and work to save their own life, but still i can't help but lose my mind at times. people are the MOST important thing in my life. i travel soooo much. people think i'm crazy for seeing my family and friends on their bday or going to new countries and meeting new people. WHY IS THAT CRAZY?! its crazy putting other people before your own goals. thats what people think it seems. but what they dont realize is that taking care of people IS MY GOAL! its my goal cause i realized so few people do it. so few people sacrifice to make others happy. only weak people care about themselves. they're too tired and lazy to give someone else a hand. but i'm trying my hardest to be strong. i wanna support everyone around me. i can't make everyone happy, but i at least wanna make everyone's life easier or happier for a couple seconds in their life.
it's so sad to see the truth of human nature. i fall victim at times too but that simply gives me strength to be different. to keep fighing. i will always put others first. i dont care if you think i'm crazy. i don't care if you think i'm trying to flirt or get a girlfriend. i dont care if you think i'm tricking you or lying. I KNOW i'd NEVER lie or cheat. i'd never hurt my friends intentionally. i'd NEVER break a promise, and i'll NEVER change this way of thinking. so go ahead and be human. hurt the ones you love, ignore the rest, and do what you must to survive and make yourself happy. i will choose the path less traveled by... but perhapys that makes ME the idiot. perhaps i'm the one who's wrong or bad. who knows. time will tell i suppose. sorry if i angered anyone with this. i've just been in a bad mood-_-.
June 18th 2007 - Damnn waited too long to update again ha.
Damn as usual i planned not to slack off on the internet stuff again. but went to HK and didnt update for awhile. well let's see... went to hk. was great. got to hangout with angel and kathy a couple times. oh and i saw KAKA! haha angel's friend i havent seen in a long time=P i always joke around with angel cause i think she's so cute. anyway went mostly for kathy's bday. it was nice but as always WAY TOO SHORT. i definitely need to move to hk for awhile^^;.
other than that everything else is too much to say. oh i met a new group of friends!! they may change my life we'll see haha. more on that later. but just soooooo happy recently causa them. anyway i'll start updating frequently again now that i'm back. checkout my newest pics in the gallery
May 28th 2007 - Japlish, Jenglish, whatever...
not much new for now. been back for a couple days now. been working nonstop since i got back, caught a cold and thats about all. oh kyle and i went out last night though to do some random shopping. went to a cool clothes store and got some shirts with crappy japanese english haha. havent bought one of those since my summer trip 4-5 yrs ago (shit thats been a long time@.@) anyway. kyle's is funnier i forget what his says though. here's mine (click to enlarge):
May 25th 2007 - Final days, yet again...
1st gotta say. HAPPY BIRTHDAY IVY AND YUKO AND MOM AND KYLIE. ha=P... so anyway here i am going back to japan, yet AGAIN-_- ha soo tired of travel. but... thats my life now. i guess i dont mind cause i'm lucky. not many people get to travel so freely between 3 countries. problem is my wallet barely keeps up with it. ah well at least it keeps up. besides the little i've invested in the future i have nothing else to spend it on. heh.
so my final days this time were somewhat interesting at best. nothing too thrilling. oh but yuko and i made dinner for my parents^^. well yuko did most since it was her idea. i just fried the tonkatsu and helped her take out the omerice (omelet rice) cause she couldnt do it without breaking the egg haha(XD). it was really good=) although it didnt look perfect it tasted just like the japanese one. my parents really liked it so i was happy and so was yuko ha.
besides the meal i was just busy as hell running around buying stuff for the trip back (shit forgot to get kim gummy bears><. sorry kim!!). saw shrek the third with yuko and saw spiderman 3 for the 3rd time@.@. this time with my bro. not so much because i wanted to. it wasnt that good. just caue nobody is ever free at the same time. so saw it with kyle, then with hiro, now with my bro. but me and greg noticed some interesting things about the movie which i wont get into right now. i'll explain later. heh.
finally i had to go to the airport. mom gave a guilt trip as usual since she thought i was staying longer. she was sad i was leaving and also she had 2 doctor appointments so she couldnt drive me to the airport. so.. i got leigh (my stripper friend) to take me to the airport. and even funnier is she was still kinda buzzed from drinking all night when she took me. haha how many people can say a drunk stripper took them to the airport haha=P. anyway its funny before i got leigh to help my parents were freaking out (or rather continuing the guilt trip), but they forget i'm resourceful and never need their help anymore. kinda funny they used to want me to just get a job and take care of myself but now that i have they just want me to quit and come home haha. just as i always say, people are more important than success. anyway theres other things i want them to see. they will someday. till then i hope they forgive me for leaving them be for awhile. greg too i know he's doing a lot for me back home. but i have other plans and things to do before i go for a job there. sorry to everyone. i love everyone and care and will be around if they ever need anything severely, but otherwise bear with me. i know what i'm doing.. mostly=P. ok back to japan!
May 19th 2007 - strip club...
since i came back i tried going to starbucks to visit and surprise one of my favorite people, Leigh. i was the one who was surprised, though, to findout she doesnt work there anymore. sooo. i left her an email explaining i'm back and she replied with her phone #. turns out she's now a stripper haha. the 2nd of my favorite starbucks people to become a stripper@.@. haa. weird. sooo, since yuko is staying with me this week i decided she needed some american culture=P. so i took her to the club to meet my friend. it was weird cause it was my 1st time to a strip club. kina cool but i totally wasnt excited or interested in the girls at all. my friend was totally the hottest there. yuko thought so too, though yuko liked 2 other girls. i just thought yuko was the other best looking girl there hahaXD. anyway it was like a normal bar but with better scenery ha. yuko's been to several similar places in her life but never in america. she said this one was the best. soo i'm glad i could give her the experience^^ ha. so funny though i thought it was totally normal seeing my friend naked. i'm too used to different cultures and lifestyles and experienced too much in life to where nothing shocks me. sooo the fact that i didnt feel weird.. felt weird ha. get it=P? anyway it was a nice night. thanks to yuko for coming with me(no pun intended@.@ omg thats gross hahaaa(XD))!
May 16th 2007 - bad luck once again...
back in america now and omg such shitty luck-_-. i was pissed! 1st crappy flight full of sick and annoying people. then a cancelled flight. then a delayed flight. then some other dumb shit. then no internet. sooo i wasted a whole day of vacation. oh yeah and got a really depressing mail from hiro-_-. wont get into it here. anyway... TODAY i was just going out to get fucking breakfast and i got a godamned speeding ticket! arggghhhh. for going only 30mph!!!! WTF!? but was too tired and forgot to explain about japan. i really didnt thing i would get the ticket. then i realized the court date is AFTER i go back to japan of course. soooo i cant argue the ticket. just have to pay $125 fucking dollars. geez-_-. ok enough bitching. just gotta vent. arg unbelievable. NOT a good trip so far. ah well it'll hopefully get much better.
May 15th 2007 - Back in the ring. A lot to talk about...
i don't even know where to begin. the things that have happened, the time spent peeling the burnt skin, the scars that kept re-opening and the heart that bled to death all took my time from contacting the old world. after months of repairing damage done and fixing problems and learning new lessons but everyday, i neglected this page. not to mention it takes forever to program ha. even after i recovered from most of my problems i found myself uninspired to do such petty things as this. but now i'm ready to accept all parts of my life once again, old and new.
as i said i dont even know where to begin. lifetimes of events and thoughts have poured through me these past few months. i've been forced to learn lessons of things i already knew and experience new things i thought i would never need to. i have no ability to say at this point if anything was worth it, but, for now i have no choice but to accept it as always and move on. that, in itself, is a lesson i've already learned long ago.
On a positive note, well, everything is positive these days. i've once again fallen back into a life i can tolerate and i never coulda done it without my friends. although he's crazy and a pain in the ass sometimes i'll never forget the help of my roommate, kyle, as well as other friends especially angel, my best friend in the whole world, the closest thing i've ever had to a little sister heh. i love her so much. of course kathy gives me hope for the future, and kinda restores faith in women for now. everyone else falls in the empty spaces as the morter for this new life. i'm so happy for all those in hong kong, japan, indonesia, china, the America's, and Europe. Having the world as my safety net gives me hope, once again, for the future. I'm lucky to be so connected to so many countries and so many cultures. i just want to keep growing and expanding. bring everyone together if i can. but i don't ever want to lose my old life, although its already so far away. i hold on with all my might but it's as if that life wants to push me aside. oh well. not everyone has the strength to hold on. as always, i'll do my best to hold on for everyone.
so enough of this babble. anyone who's read this far is probably confused as hell ha. sorry=P. welp guess i should get to whats new. hm lets see i had a shitty new year but at least i went home. HOWEVER, i had an AWESOME CHINESE new year^^. went back to hong kong. had a huuuuuuuuge dinner with kathy and her family, saw angel for some wholesome soul healing hugs, and just had a nice time in my 3rd home in this world ha. inspired me to try to move there for at least a little bit. but 1st i have some other things to do and promises to keep...
so, i got a 3 yr visa for japan. next i'll try hong kong. its nice having options and knowing i can go to any country anytime. one thing i realized is something that went overlooked for so long, i've always been able to use my resources. i had a hunch but never realized it till all this shit has happened. i healed by simply doing what i've always done... and that is get things done. i've noticed that all my life, although i never know what i need to do or want to do, when i do know, i can do it. no matter what i find a way. well i shouldnt brag, but this is my page. just making a mental note.
as for my other adventures, i've developed a group of people to meet every week at a 300yen bar in shinjuku. all food and drinks are ¥300(^.^) ohoh cheaper than america i love it ha. and every week the group expands further and further.. for now. plus, kyle and i started a new trend thats gathering more and more people. called "parkour" in french it was started by some guys who called themselves "yamakazi's" and now we've started a small movement in japan ha. its a pasttime that entails jumping and climbing and running on pretty much everything you can see. some people in the U.S. and elsewhere call it "urban running" or "freestyle walking" or other random names. me and kyle just use the tag 'yamakazi'. its sooo fun and funny everyone thinks we're crazy but later says "i wanna try!" haha=P or they'll be scared but after they try they love it. you can see an example in my video gallery.
now i'm in the process for looking for new jobs. i've actually had several in japan. translating, private students, etc. now i'm thinking of working in hong kong but since it might take a couple more months i'm gonna do someting else in japan or the U.S. for now. i'm slowly understanding my calling in life. i just have to keep steady, even if i have to give up the things i want the most along the way. i'll be happy.